Everyday, I have clients who come into my office, and they are UPSET. They throw their arms into the air and cry, "I don't know it all. I don't have it all figured out. Everyone else knows what they are doing, and I don't. This makes me feel crappy, and I hate it." I imagine that you might feel that way too.
I have news for you: NONE OF US HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT!
Everyone has their issues (E V E R Y O N E), and none of us know what the heck we are doing all of the time. It's true that some of us are better at faking it than others. It is also true that some people are more plan-oriented than others. However, you are not a bad person if you haven't figured out which life path you want to take, what life goals you want to achieve, and when exactly you want to accomplish them. This is a highly perpetuated myth that social pressures (see also: social media) and our anxious/perfectionist brains have brought upon us, and it's bullshit.
In fact, I hear these exasperated feelings from so many people, so often that I wrote an ode to not-knowing-it-all. I figure that this concept could use a spotlight in order to fight this shame-inducing hell spiral.
An Ode to Not Knowing It All
We must have our lives planned from birth
If we don't, we've dropped the ball
Our selves no longer having worth
People will know
We're frauds, fakes, and fiends
Everyone will run away, leaving us alone
We will toil through life with nothing to show
Never having reached our dreams
Our life never really being our own
Believing everyone else has it figured out
Our friends, family, and neighbors constantly thriving
They have everything, you scream and shout
They always know for what they are striving
Their social media is full of joy
Their lives are so easy
They never question their options or choices
Their lack of a plan will never annoy
They will never know what it is to wake up feeling queasy
Their constant response to life is to say YES with their voices
Take heart, one and all
None of us really know what we are doing
We're all meandering down the life path feeling finite and small
Our fingers are crossed and our feet constantly moving
We're hoping to minimize our pain and strife
All the while recognizing that we know very little
And we can control even less
Take solace in knowing that you are making the best decisions for your life
Instead of feeling like you must know it all now, your path consistently whittled
Celebrate not knowing by inhaling a deep breath and giving yourself some peace from the must-know-it-all stress
Remember that you are doing what you can
You are evolving at your own pace through YOUR lifespan
If you want help breathing deeply as you grow at your own pace, check out my offerings for individual therapy by clicking here.
- Lauren, HHT